In June I went to see Roxane Gay speak with my friend, Jenny. “Did you know she had bariatric surgery?” Jenny asked me. I hadn’t heard. She recommended I read a piece Roxane wrote about it on Medium. I actually listened to Roxane read the piece (which is a really cool thing that Medium does) and although her situation is obviously very different from mine, Roxane describes a relationship with food, and with no longer being able to have that relationship, that felt so familiar to me:
I turned to food when I was sad and happy and lonely and scared and anxious. I turned to food, and away from everything else; it was my comfort and my friend…And then, that comfort was gone. I’ve lost the best friend I never had the courage to acknowledge but who was my constant, loyal companion nonetheless. I am left holding the shattered pieces of whatever has been left behind, trying to assemble them into something new, something that serves me better.
I’ve turned to food as a friend throughout my life as well, but I’m realizing now, in my mid-40’s, that food is a false friend. Food is a form of self-punishment as much as it’s a treat, but it does fill a void and now that I’m eating the right way something else must fill that space.
It’s hard work to make better friends. It’s daily, hourly work.
Some of the work is fun, like treating myself well by getting pedicures and new earrings. And some of it is a slog, like saying no to after dinner snacks. But I’ve made one really good new friend and that’s sewing my own clothes. It’s a great friend because it both honors my body and engages my mind.
My second Grainline Willow Tank.
Here’s something interesting about sewing that many people don’t realize: sewing is vast. Sewing is quilting and making dolls and fine tailoring. Sewing is making drapes and wedding gowns and felt holiday ornaments. Most people who sew don’t sew all of these things or even half of them. There’s a lot to know and a lot to explore. And when it’s time to wash your clothes, consider having them washed and dried at 2ULaundry.
As I mentioned a few weeks ago I’ve hardly ever sewn an item of clothing for myself to wear even though I’ve been sewing for a long time. Until now I literally owned no fabric suitable for making a garment. I’ve got lots of quilting cotton, yards of fleece and felt, but I hardly paid attention to garment substrates. Rayon challis? Crepe de chine? What do these terms refer to? I went to the fabric store two weeks ago and walked up the aisles I never explore, touching everything, learning which ones stretch and which are sheer. I’m building a new stash from scratch. Totally exciting!
The first Grainline Willow Tank. Check it out! I made some flocked t-shirts.
I’ve upgraded a few tools along the way. I bought all new pins because when you sew stuffed animals all your pins get bent (lots of fleece and fur wrestled into a small space will do that!). For my birthday last week my sister bought me a pair of Kai shears, and, perhaps most exciting of all, my family got me a serger. I’ve never used a serger, never even sat down in front of one. It’s a bit scary. I got a Brother 1034d (affiliate link), often described as “the blogger’s serger” because so many bloggers seem to have it. It’s not fancy or expensive, but there’s a Facebook group devoted to this machine with 17,000+ members and I figure I can always upgrade in a few years once I better understand my needs.
I also printed my first PDF garment pattern. I’ve bought PDF patterns before, but they were for small craft projects. A garment is different and I wasn’t sure how I would feel about. The first two patterns I bought were paper (The Rushcutter Dress and The Willow Tank). I decided to get The Sutton Blouse and it’s PDF only. I have to say, I loved the PDF! Once I figured out how to trim the right side and the bottom only, taping it all together took 20 minutes. I like the sturdiness of a pattern printed on copy paper, plus the flexibility of being able to print it again in a different size to make it for my daughters (or take it to the copy shop and have it printed all in one piece). My first Sutton is a muslin, but I’m ready to make it again now in crepe de chine. So exciting!
I’ve started following all sorts of new hashtags on Instagram: #rumitank and #lododress. My feed is beginning to look different which is so neat. I have #memademay plans for 2019. I have new books on my wishlist (affiliate links). My sewing library is expanding.
The third Grainline Willow Tank. It’s okay to have a lot of these, right?
Of course, in no way will I stop sewing dolls and toys and little quilts. Those are the things that brought me to sewing in the first place and that is the type of sewing that makes me feel most free. I don’t need a pattern to make those things – I make those patterns.
I still have so much to learn about sewing clothes for myself, but it’s a good feeling to be a novice, like stepping into the ocean. What I’ve always loved about sewing is that it’s real, it’s an artform that creates a practical result, something you can wear or snuggle or wrap up in. I love the utility of it. That moment when you iron the last seam, turn the shirt right side out and slip it on? It’s unbeatable. It makes a really good new companion.
What a beautiful post. And you look beautiful in your new clothes, too. Thank you.
I’m so excited for you on your new journey sewing clothes. I too have started sewing clothes again. I sewd clothes for many years and then stopped when life got in the way. So I’m excited to begin again too.
Congratulations for stepping out of your comfort zone and making something for you. The tops fit you well, you did a good job choosing fabric and sewing them.
Abby, your posts resonates with me so much, and echoes the thoughts of my garment sewing community, as well. I can’t wait to hear more about your clothes, and I’ll be sharing this post in my newsletter today!
So exciting to start a new adventure. And wonderful that you’re taking control of how you feel in your clothes. Best of luck!
You look beautiful! Good for you!
I have that same serger and it is awesome. I use mine a LOT and I have replaced the blades and the needle plate on it myself. (If you are brave, there are lots of videos and you can do the maintenance yourself.) And thanks for talking about fabric suitable for garments. It is a totally different stash! Quilting cotton does not work for everything.
Good for you, Abby! I’m on that same journey myself. I’ve only made a couple of things for myself to wear, but they have been SO rewarding. When you spend an hour in a dressing room trying on one thing after the other that doesn’t fit correctly in ANY size, you start to feel like some kind of freak of nature, but when you make something out of fabric that matches your size and shape perfectly, you can look in the mirror and think, “Wow, that looks pretty cute — maybe the problem isn’t that I’M funny-shaped, but that the RTW clothes at Anthropologie/AnnTaylor/Banana Republic/etc. are all funny shaped!”
I have a great resource for learning how to get professional results with your serger on knits, blogger Debbie Cook is AMAZING: http://stitchesandseams.blogspot.com/. Also, if you haven’t been there yet, check out patternreviews.com. It is amazing to be able to see what the same commercial or independent sewing pattern looks like made up in different sizes for different bodies, in all different fabrics, and have the opportunity to learn from other people’s experience where they did something differently from the pattern instructions or made other tweaks or “hacks.” It has helped me to choose appropriate fabric + pattern pairings and to have a better feel for how a particular pattern will look on a shape like mine versus the stick figure on the pattern envelope!
My biggest challenge with sewing for myself is the lack of a local resource for quality garment fabrics. I just don’t know the garment fabric terminology well enough to order confidently from suppliers like Emma One Sock, or to judge which fabrics on fabric.com are going to be nice quality and which ones will be just as icky as the stuff at JoAnn’s. I envy the New Yorkers who can just stroll into Mood Fabrics and touch and feel all the fabrics in person before purchasing!!
Please continue to share your garment sewing adventures on the blog. 🙂
You did an outstanding job on your tops, and you look fantastic in them! Great article, all women should read this. I am not sure how we, as mothers, allowed our daughters to look to food as a “friend” or comfort. As an RN, and in looking retrospectively at my own life, and in raising 3 daughters, making a supreme effort to teach my girls about staying “fit” versus staying “skinny”, and how to develop healthy coping mechanisms, it still upsets me that somehow, men in our society were taught to use exercise in some form, as a stress reliever, versus going to food for that. When I developed a community wellness program, I saw this repeated consistently in our community – women and men, in general, have a very different relationship with food, and also use different ways of relieving stress in their lives. With men overwhelmingly using something physical, and women often turning to food. I made sure I changed that message. I removed the scale from our home. I repeatedly told my 3 beautiful girls not to listen to the persistent media message that “thin is beautiful”, replacing it with “fit is beautiful”. I served 3 healthy meals to my family, despite working a more than full time, demanding job, we sat down for dinner almost every night to reconnoiter. And, probably most importantly, modeling that behavior, which I think was probably the hardest part for me – figuring out how to do that in my crazy, busy day, without sacrificing time from my family (every working woman’s dilemma). I now have 3 healthy, fit adult daughters who use exercise as their stress reliever, still don’t use a scale, and are fit, love their bodies and more importantly, what is inside, which is their true beauty. We’re not perfect, but we’re better. And, their daughters will be even better, because they’re passing if forward (I have two lovely granddaughters). It isn’t easy to battle this overwhelming message women are STILL getting in our society, but enlightening posts like this help to change the message. Thank you, Abby, love your blog, love you being so open and honest. Reminds us to all do the same.
Dear Abby, This is a wonderful article on so many levels that for me to attempt to describe them would take far too many words. I suppose the basis of it all, for me, is about women and their experience and I so appreciate the way you are prepared to interrogate the issues. The clothes you are making are just great too. Thank you Abby.
I love this post, I love that you’re sewing garments and I love that you’re documenting your process/progress! I’m still unpacking the positive influences that sewing my own clothes (something I’ve jumped back into over the past three years) has been for me. After having three kids in relatively short succession, I could be spending a lot of time now berating my post baby body (and exercising…I should probably do some of that!). Instead, I’m planning my next projects and feeling good in my clothes – there’s a boost of confidence when I wear handmade that overshadows negative feelings I may have about my body, I think! I don’t fully understand it, but it is fulfilling to me. And having a good relationship with my bod in clothes is important to me as I model that relationship for my daughter. (Also, I make at least three of every pattern, including the willow!!)
I read a comment on a post somewhere a while ago that said you should sew at least three of each pattern in order to really learn how it works. I took that to heart and I’m finding it to be true.
I heard that in a workshop as well. By making the first one, you learn about the construction. The second one gives you the opportunity to tweak the fit. The third one is where your creativity can soar.
Thank you for sharing your new adventure. My mom taught me to sew when I was 9. Sewing became my focus in 4-H. I made several outfits that included gussets, fancy seams, bound button holes, covered snaps, etc. The Vogue designer patterns were the go to styles in the late 60s for award winning entries. But then I went to an engineering school, got a job that took up lots of time, and purchased ready made clothes that suited the job and were not near as nice as the things that I made. Periodically I would start a blouse or dress, but would not finish them because I was no longer the same size as in my 4-H years. I have sewn quilts, drapes, toys, pillows, placemats, napkins, and tablecloths for the past 40 years, but no clothes, even though I have several yards of suit wool and Liberty of London lawn for blouses in my stash. So your article has inspired me to get sewing clothes once again. Thank you so much.
That’s so interesting. It’s like sewing was no longer okay because your size had changed. I can totally see how that could happen. I hope that you’ll take your measurements again and begin sewing again as you are.
Abby, Thanks for sharing your experience joining the sewing clothing group. It will open a whole new world for you – and your girls, especially if you teach them. You look wonderful in the blouses. and they fit you well.
Interesting how we all come to quilting. I came through sewing my own clothes and home dec (curtains/drapes). Back in the day sewing clothes was much more common. Making your own clothes was more cost-effective and better-fitting than purchasing ready made. I learned to sew on a machine from my mom when I was around 8. I’d been hand sewing doll clothes before then. I can remember making all my prom dresses, a suit, trousers for my husband, my bridesmaids’ dresses.
I want to take time to sew some more personal clothing and will look for the blouse patterns you recommended.
Have fun with this mew skill!
You look beautiful in your new tops! I, too, am returning to sewing clothes this year after a long hiatus and am finally having success with Indie patterns. I started by making 5 Scout tees with different sleeve variations, and it’s really helped me to fine-tune the fit and experiment with different techniques because I’m using the same pattern. My favorite Scout tee has been worn at least once a week this summer, and I feel so confident when I wear it. I also made 4 Willamette (by Hey June) shirts, and I absolutely love the pattern. I plan to move on to Carolyn pajamas next.
I’m looking forward to seeing what you create next!
Oh wow, I love the Willamette Shirt! That’s on my list now. And I can make it for my middle daughter, too. She has to wear collared shirts with her school uniform.
Abby, such a great post! Congratulations on you new sewing adventure. The tops fit you nicely and you made great fabric choices. You should try knits next. I was afraid to try, but now I am hooked. Crafty Gemini has a new sew along for a cute knit top (free pdf pattern with video instruction). I’ve made several. I think it would look nice on you. Lora
Knits are next.
Reading this post made me so happy – I agree, it’s a delicious thing stepping into a new area of sewing. Your tops are gorgeous, Abby. I loved reading about your feelings about food, body image and dressmaking – I definitely remember the beginnings of my own dressmaking adventure having a similarly positive impact for me too.
Shopping for dressmaking fabric – it’s a whole new world, isn’t it. It took me a few years to work out that the thing that could make or break a garment for me was drape, and then a few more to start really focussing on the scale of prints and looking at fabrics more critically: would I buy this print if I saw it on something ready-to-wear or am I just being sucked in because the drape is amazing? You mentioned both of my favourites – rayon challis and silk de Chine – so it seems you already have that one down as I imagine you discovered what they felt like at the fabric store, but both have fantastic drape. I tend to go for silk de Chine (Liberty do some great prints in this substrate) if it’s something really special, but rayon challis is more practical for everyday – I like that they’re often both quite opaque, which makes them feel more wearable.
Have you discovered Atelier Brunette yet? They do some beautiful fabrics and the prints always feel really wearable. Lots of different substrates to explore there too.
I just Googled Atelier Brunette and fell down a rabbit hole! Thank you so much. A shop near me sells it. So exciting!
I love the fabric patterns you chose. Until I read “…third Grainline tank…” it didn’t hit me it was the same pattern (not a fashionista obviously). I loved reading how much confidence you’ve gained recently – so happy for your new discovery of yourself Abby! {applause}
I had no idea you hadn’t sewn clothes before. It is not surprising that you did a beautiful job on the tops since you have mastered the art of sewing fur..
My mom sent me to take a sewing class when I was 14. Over the years we spent many hours together, cutting ,sewing, and wearing out a couple of machines. She was my best friend, mentor, and toughest critic. The best advice she gave me was to buy a little more fabric than you need because there is nothing worse than being short and sew with a bigger stitch since it is easier to rip. She would always say she ripped more than she sewed.
Welcome to the garment sewing world Abby!! How exciting. It’s so liberating to venture into new areas of a craft, the fundamentals of which you’re already familiar with. It sort of feels like starting something new but already knowing you’re going to enjoy it and that you have a head start. All those new techniques totally start to feed into and inspire your existing work in new ways too. I’ve recently started getting into patchwork and quilting, fabric printing and am now even considering embroidery. It’s never-ending and ceaselessly inspiring and refreshing. Enjoy. Your first steps are great!
I used to sew my own clothes a lot as it was more affordable and I enjoyed it. I don’t find it very affordable now and don’t have a clothes budget (or hobbies budget) to pay for the expense. I now sew small things mostly by hand which has suited me perfectly. I do watch lovely vlogs and podcasts though and if cost were not an issue I would certainly get sewing clothes again. Clothes you make yourself are not necessarily better quality than those you buy but if you do have good skills, good fitting and finishing then they certainly are. Most of my clothes these days are thrift shop. I occasionally do a refashion.
I have never really been inclined towards a serger, even though I feel most people do now. Mostly because of space issues/initial expense, but also the cost and practicality of keeping one threaded in appropriate colours for the garment. I also dislike that it cuts the fabric which means I have seen people giving up on garments as there is no room to manoeuvre to take them in to fit better. I got very decent seam finishes on my sewing machine with practice and I was rather pleased with myself. I do also dislike the pressure there is to conform to purchased ready to wear standards. I wish we could all be happy with a set of pinking shears as used to be the case and take the pressure off ourselves (that said I wasn’t myself). Social media is very inspirational on the one hand but with all the comparisons and setting up of expectations can also make people unhappy. I love people who are accepting of their small mistakes, still wear and love their clothes and move on. It seems though that a lot of clothes made don’t actually get worn at all, which is a shame. We can be too self conscious of our makes to wear them. I tried not to make anything which didn’t fit with my usual clothes sense.
Manufacturers used to try and emulate the skilled home sewer, now we try and do our work so it just looks like it came from any other factory. There is nothing perfect about most ready to wear clothes either – with tatty button holes, loose threads and holes in seams being pretty standard. Yet somehow we think this is the acceptable look and feel pushed to achieve it. We are happy to be told something looks shop bought. I am working to feel happy with my own standards. No, I don’t want people seeing my attempts as shoddy but neither do I feel my work should be of identikit standard. Most people never saw my seams, if they did I hope they would like them but most importantly I did. I most admire sewers without the finicky perfectionism that can spoil things for the maker and wearer and is able to craft lovely and wearable things that people still can admire complete with any little foibles that no one sees – just as we do for shop bought. I think sewing has a lot of joy sucks if we are not careful. I enjoy slow sewing, not a race to the finish and then I keep enjoying what I have made for many years. Clothes need to fit okay to be comfortable and wearable, but no more so than the clothes we buy. Some sewers go through agonies trying to make the absolutely perfect fitted garment. Pattern matching fabrics in moderation is good but taken too far it is very wasteful of fabric – a little obsessive even – and makes people feel too unhappy with their creations if every thing is not perfectly aligned. Nothing that perfect exists in ready to wear and no one cares. We can be too tough on ourselves I think – something I have had to work on.
The last things I made was about two years ago and cost me a lot more than most of my new purchases and more than all my thrifted items. I do feel I can’t make the things I would like (in all areas of crafting) because of money of raw materials. Cost is why I now buy fat quarters and make small things, do embroidery from my own designs and am drawing again as those are more flexible of cost. I do find it frustrating as I developed decent dress making skills and I would like to continue. Home sewing has become pretty elitist I think in comparison with the past when it was done for utility.
The new pdf patterns I find expensive and frustrating. I am very happy with the big 4 patterns. Indie patterns I have worked with were strangely sized and I had to make adaptations where I am pretty standard with the commercial ones (once you realise that their sizing has silly amounts of ease and allow for that). Vintage patterns can be fun but again the sizing is different. As I am starting to get older I have a need to wear clothes I know suit my style and body shape, regardless of fashion and to be relaxed and comfy. That is a motivator for getting back to making my own clothes I think. The top you show us is a design that is very well adapted to wear with so many things and of a quality to wear for many years, both good reasons to keep making. It is a very worth while accomplishment to have dress making skills.
P.S. I would love you to share this journey of yours with us, sewing to me is an integrated skill and as you have said covers many things. I love to see what you make (of all kinds) on your blog most of all.
You look fantastic! And your shirts are awesome. Garment sewing has always been my favorite and I go back to the same patterns that I love. It’s fun to say “thanks, I made it” when someone compliments something I’ve sewn. I recommend glass head pins with small bead heads. They can be harder to find and a bit more expensive, but you can press over them and they won’t melt. I use a magnet pincushion, too. Oh and rotary cutter and mat and the best embroider snips you can find. I’ve had the same Gingher shears forever and I still like them best. And no matter what your sewing machine dealer says, don’t sew over pins. They will dull your needle faster.
Can’t wait to see what you make next!
Jules : )
I have a cutting table in my studio that has a full-sized mat across the top.
Welcome to fashion sewing, Abby. From the 70’s through the mid-90’s I sewed most of my clothing. Quiltmaking overtook my available sewing time at the same time that the clothing industry changed to cheaper/faster/ubiquitous. But I still have boxes of garment fabric! (Then again I still have Paternayan needlepoint yarn and DMC floss . . .)
Your third tank is wonderful! I’m so glad you are sewing your clothes now. I’m just starting back into that as well. A new journey, learning different things, and getting to know my changing older body. All good. Thanks for the inspiration.
That’s great, Barb. Cheers to embracing ourselves today, through sewing.
I love listening to Abby’s Podcast. It was the first one I ever subscribed too. Along the way in my sewing journey, I started to sew clothing for myself again. I’m witnessing the rebirth of the me-made garment sewing experience! I’m over the moon excited that Abby is starting to sew for herself too! I love the new focus on sewing for creativity and self expression. I look forward to more podcasts from people in the garment sewing industry as well.
Thank you so much, Loriann!
I always listened to your podcast Abi and loved it but I always wished you sewed garments and would bring more guests on to talk garment sewing (which you have!) and now you sew your own clothes too which means (I suspect 🙂 ) that we’ll be hearing even more garment sewing tidbits 🙂 Congratulations on all your lovely Grainline tops. I’m a fan of Grainline seeing their patterns more as blocks because I have to add darts (full bust adjustment and back darts) – I just keep adding and adding more to the patterns but that’s their beauty.
I really enjoy the Love to Sew podcast and because the hosts are both in the garment sewing world they really cover that area super thoroughly. I highly recommend it!
I’ve also been back to sewing garments. I sewed for my whole life, even learned some tailoring but abrubtly gave it up in my 40s. I got into quilting 5 years ago and it is my passion. Last year I got back into sewing and resurrected my tools from under the bed. I was dissapointed with pattern choices. The big three are a touch matronly and a lot of indy patterns look like prison dresses. I made a couple patterns myself and like StyleArc and Hot Patterns. Your tops are cute! I look forward to seeing what else you come up with.
How did you get your pattern into Blueprint form? I’m trying to get my patterns designed.
I recommend Lauren Dahl’s course, Pattern Workshop: https://patternworkshop.com/
You shared the same feeling I had,after a busy 40 years tight career as a banker, always on travel, I took to seeing on my 15 old Janome. Feeling embarrassed for its unused condition, I liked it and then had a prof service. Then it is my day, a baby dress per day..I have overcome loneliness, depression, and discovering the joy of sewing for toddlers. I pick up 1/2 mette bits from tex shops at very low price, mix and match and donated about 25 kids tops to infants in Govt hospital.new discovery