Spring Quilt Market will be in Minneapolis in just a few months. Thousands of people will attend this international fabric industry trade show to exhibit, buy, teach, and network. Most of these people will be women, many of them mothers, all taking their Tradeshow displays to exhibit their work.
Although the average age of dedicated quilters in America today is 64, there’s a new generation of designers and shop owners who are in their late 20’s through early 40’s who will be at the show and in many ways the future of the industry is dependent upon their enthusiasm and success. For many of these younger industry professionals figuring out how to balance raising a family and running a business is a tricky equation, especially if they’re nursing mothers of young babies.
Trade shows generally have regulations that prohibit children from being on the show floor out of both concern for their safety and to keep the focus of the show on conducting business rather than playing with young kids. Often these rules prohibit infants and babies from attending the shows as well, even nursing babies. Last spring, for instance, a nursing mom was escorted from the National Restaurant Association trade show for carrying her 10-day-old nursing infant in a sling.
Quilt Market’s rules are in keeping with most national trade shows. Children under 14 are not allowed to attend the show and, until a few years ago, this included nursing infants as well.
In August of 2012, however, Quilts, Inc., revised their regulations to allow babies under age one at the show if they are in a carrier such as a sling or Baby Bjorn. No strollers are allowed.
In May of 2012, before the new rule was in place, quilt designer and author Cheryl Arkison attended spring Quilt Market with her two-month-old son. “We were physically accosted when my husband tried to bring my son in to feed,” Cheryl says. “The baby was in a baby carrier, not a stroller, yet a security guard physically restrained my husband from going up the escalators while he had the baby. I was insulted by Quilts, Inc. staff for even considering [nursing at the show]. And the whole time I was there to promote my book. I nearly missed my book signing.”
This year, Rae Hokstra attended fall Quilt Market under the new ruling, but still found the situation to be challenging. “Quilt Market has got to be the hardest place to bring a nursing infant, due to their no stroller policy,” Rae says. “It’s completely ridiculous given that strollers are allowed at the Quilt Show the next week, so it’s not a fire hazard or some sort of physical issue, and the aisles are certainly not crowded enough that it would create a traffic hazard.”
Jessica Jones and Rae Hokstra at fall Quilt Market with baby Hugo in the carrier.
Rae also felt that Quilts, Inc.’s new policy allowing nursing moms wasn’t being fully implemented. “Their posted nursing policy is also completely different from their practice. For instance, on their brochure it says that nursing babies are allowed, but when I first called to double-check if I could bring a stroller and check it somewhere, the person who I spoke to on the phone told me no children at all were allowed. I told her that could not possibly be true because I had seen babies the previous year and she said she had to check with her manager and call me back. There was a brief 24 hour period where I was completely freaked out that I had just wasted money on a plane ticket to Houston that I wouldn’t be able to use. Finally they called back and left a message that it was fine, but clearly they aren’t communicating this policy to their employees.”
A call to Quilts, Inc., on Monday confirmed that infants are allowed at Quilt Market as long as they’re in a carrier. A woman named Ann in customer service explained to me that there would be a room “off to the side” for moms to nurse. Rae didn’t find this to be true at fall Market. “There was noise on the website or in a brochure about there being an area for nursing mothers to nurse. But when I asked multiple staff members on the floor where this area was, no one knew. I ended up nursing on the sly in the food court, and on the couches outside the hall. It was really stressful.”
The Craft and Hobby Association (CHA) sponsors major craft industry trade shows as well so I reached out to CHA to see what their rules are for nursing moms on the show floor. Tina Lynn Mercardo, Director of Events and Expositions, explained, “We allow children two years old and under provided they are carried, or fastened to the adult at all times. For nursing mothers we have a few options: on the show floor our Member Lounge has private offices with rooms that are able to be closed and locked to allow for the mother’s privacy, off the show floor we have private offices in the lobby and Show Office, and during classes there is an Education team office on the 2nd floor and should a mother need privacy during classes, this is available to them. We do not allow strollers. We allow mothers to store these in our Show Office or Bag Check at no charge.”
Lisa Ver Burg owns the scrapbooking shop, A Walk Down Memory Lane, in Rock Valley Iowa. She attended the CHA Mega show in Anaheim, CA last week as a retailer and has her own perspective on nursing moms and babies on the show floor. “I go to the show to meet people, network, and buy from the manufacturers,” Lisa explains. “The buying aspect is probably my most important thing I do at that show because it’s so hard to buy paper off a catalog or a website. On a few different occasions I was in vendor booths and the ‘designer’ had their baby with them. It was so unprofessional that they’re playing/talking/taking pictures with their baby at a business show. I understand they’re moms. I’m a working mom too, but I honestly don’t think a baby belongs on a show like this. As a working mom (and not a work at home mom), do you take your baby to the office, to the store you work at, etc? If your baby is nursing, you either freeze breast milk to feed the baby at home, or keep the baby in the hotel and go back to feed them. I really don’t think the show is an appropriate place for a baby. If you can’t or won’t do those things, maybe this year is the year you skip out of CHA to take care of the baby. I’m trying to conduct business there.”
The National Needlearts Association (TNNA) is the yarn industry trade show and I wondered if their policies were similar to those of Quilt Market or CHA. A phone call confirmed that babes in arms were allowed and that they, too, had a no stroller policy. I asked if there was a designated space available at the show for moms to nurse and was told there wasn’t (although the restroom was suggested as a possibility).
Knitwear designer, Kate Oates, with her four sons.
Knitwear designer Kate Oates attended TNNA two years in a row with two different nursing infants. She confirmed that there isn’t a dedicated area for nursing. “I just nursed wherever,” Kate says. She was careful to keep her baby in the carrier when not nursing because she says, “you get yelled at by TNNA staff or representatives if your baby is out of the carrier.” Kate felt this was fine, though. “I am thankful that I was allowed to bring my baby with me to a trade show/business event and I don’t need special accommodations.”
Jessica Anderson carrying her son, Sheldon, at TNNA.
Jessica Anderson is a knitwear designers and mother of five. She attended TNNA this year with her seven-month-old nursing son, Sheldon. “It’s a lot of walking, and a lot to carry, day after day (he’s well over 15 lbs at this point, and even with a good wrap, that gets heavy!). I started to wonder why I was not allowed to have a stroller for him, yet there were women with rolling suitcases? Surely if they could have those, nursing moms could have a small stroller? Even if my little one wouldn’t go in the stroller, it would have been nice to have a place to put the diaper bag and all the baby gear! I also found myself wondering several times why there couldn’t be a nursing place- or at least a spot with comfy chairs, better changing area, and easy access to water (because I could tell I was getting dehydrated frequently). There were spots for just about everything else, it really wouldn’t be that hard to have a nursing area, just for the rare occasion when baby was too overstimulated, yet starving and starting to become a handful.”
Attending an industry trade show as a nursing mom brings to light the work so many of us do as both mothers and business people. Figuring out how to do both well is certainly a challenge. Cheryl put it this way, “Being a quilter goes hand in hand with being a mother for me. In that I am not alone. The industry is changing as more and more younger women take up the craft and develop careers and businesses from their love of this textile world.” This world has shifted to a degree already to accommodate them. Should it shift more?
Interesting! I really feel that unless we start considering children in workspaces of all kinds (and most workspaces are not really unsafe for children – we just have a cultural block around this), women are going to have trouble achieving real equality in the both private and public spheres. Ideally, parental leave for a year or more (and some mandatory portion for the non-gestating spouse) will help to change perceptions in this area. The idea that feeding an infant makes one a less competent professional is an incredibly insulting position to take.
Love your comment. I’m a fost/adopt mom of 2 little girls. (1 and 2) I work full-time and take care of my girls. My girls popped by the booth at Plaid to meet all the people who I work with. I’m based in LA and Plaid is in Georgia. Everyone was thrilled to see them and some of our top customers even came by to meet them. They were in the booth for 20 mins and our oldest is still talking about it. I love that they got to see mama at work and get a better understanding of what I do.
I do agree, however I think a major shift in how society views mothers and mother-hood will be necessary before this comes about. Neither do I want to see the role of the mother reduced further in status than it already is, with the child seen merely as an addendum to a woman’s life, that can be tucked under her arm wherever she goes or out of sight out of mind. We have to come up with better ways of doing things that recognises the needs of all the members of a family. Women are still not able to fully utilise their talents and skills and have them recognised however and that really does need to be addressed. We should not still be living in a society and work place run by and run for the needs of men. Compromise all round need to happen. Women also need to be supportive of each other and to recognise that our needs do not show weakness.
I nursed for well over a year for each of my kids so I definitely understand the frustrations and challenges of this issue. I believe the issue of children in the workplace, the tradeshows or market are more of a safety issue than you are giving credence. We live in a litigious society and it takes only a second for a child to pull something over on them, to trip on something, to cut themselves with something we thought was out of their reach. It is also an issue for people wanting to do serious work. Strollers are wonderfully convenient but take up a great deal of space. They have a large footprint. They are a tripping hazard. Then there are those that would rather carry their child and use the stroller as a shopping cart while others are forbidden from bringing in any sort of cart. It is a difficult situation and I do remember being on the outside looking in many times but Trade Shows are for business and children don’t really fit into the business world.
Wonderfully balanced article. I started off on one side, swung to the other, and now I think Im in the middle.
I’d like to hear your opinion on this, Abby- When your daughters were younger, did you ever take them to a trade show? If you had an infant now, would you take him/her? I’m missing your voice!
Hi Rebecca,
I’ve never been to a trade show so I can’t speak to that experience specifically. I did nurse each of my three children for year. When my third child was two months old I took her on the train to New York City by myself and did a book signing at Purl Soho, where I nursed her in the storeroom in the back, and then to the New York City Public Library where I gave a speech and conducted a workshop for 200 people with her in the sling. It was hard and tiring and I did it and felt great.
I have never run a trade show, but I imagine it is an enormous job and I know that I don’t understand the complexities involved. I do feel strongly that women should never feel that they need to nurse a child in a restroom. People don’t eat in bathrooms and if you were feeding a child from a bottle you would never be asked to do that in a restroom. I’m glad that Quilts, Inc. now allows babies under age one in carriers and I wrote this piece for all of us to think together about whether that’s enough. My blog readers have vastly more and different experiences than I do and I’m interested to hear from them.
AAP suggests nursing to two years. Why on earth wouldn’t we do everything we can to support women to meet their desire to be successful? And the expectations we put on them to do so? My first child never took a bottle. Absolutely would not. I think it is far more unreasonable for someone to suggest taking a year off from their career than it is to provide a comfy chair. It needn’t even be a room to go off to because NIP is normal, healthy and should be encouraged. No need to hide ladies!!!! On the other hand, if you wish it to be available, so it should. Really not a big logistical deal.
“If you can’t or won’t do those things, maybe this year is the year you skip out of CHA to take care of the baby. I’m trying to conduct business there.”
Perhaps Lisa doesn’t fully support the designers or patrons who choose to nurse their children, and I know she is not alone, but I pray she is the minority.
It’s not that I don’t support a woman’s right to breast feed their baby. I’m not arguing that point at all. My daughter was born at 25 weeks and spent 89 days in the NICU. I get breast feeding. I get that it’s the best for the baby. I never said you shouldn’t breast feed your baby, there are ways around having the baby on the show floor. I just feel it can be done discreetly. But then, I never was one of the moms that could whip my breast out and feed my daughter in public.
I’m just saying I felt it was unprofessional for the child to be on the show floor, with the mom talking baby talk to the baby, taking pictures for Instagram, and such during open show hours in the vendor’s booth. I thought it was rude that the designer ignored me (a buyer) so she could play with her baby.
As a mother, we need to make sacrifices for what we believe is best for our family. My sister breast fed both of her children and pumped in a bathroom stall at her job every day. It was a small company and just didn’t have the space to make a “pumping room”. It CAN be done. Is it ideal? No, but if it’s that important to you, you make it work. There are plenty of chairs spread throughout the convention center that pumping or nursing doesn’t have to happen in a bathroom stall, at least at the Anaheim convention center.
I don’t understand how you could possibly think you could conduct a professional business meeting holding a child. They get hungry, they get crabby, they get sleepy, etc. and start to cry. You can’t possibly give 100% of your attention to your JOB at the trade show with a baby on board.
I think it’s disingenuous of you to say you support breastfeeding. Breastfeeding often means being attached, physically and many infants don’t take bottles. Not taking a bottle means that you must be present with your baby, wherever that might be, impatient patrons be damned. Being a mother to that child is the real JOB that matters in the end. Part of being that mother is playing with your child. And to that end – the idea of “Professionalism” is fluid and changes with the times – perhaps your expectations should take note along with a healthy dose of empathy for a mother trying her best to do her job.
And just to be clear “Whip out my breast” is not a part of the act of breastfeeding. Offering your breast to your child is. I dare say how many children would be hurt in the act of whippin out a milk-filled breast, it might smart a bit.
I would just ask that we show respect toward one another in the comments. I’m very open to discussion and debate, but it’s important to me that we are also kind to one another.
I think there is a big difference between having a baby in a carrier and deciding to ignore customers so you can play on instagram.
I’ve been to a number of shows where (bored?) vendors are on their phones. That’s not very professional behavior, but is completely independent of having a baby with you.
It is currently seen to be unprofessional to not leave your baby at home, that is true. That in my view is what I would like to see change. Women have babies. Fact. Women also need to be able to do other things and have careers too and for a number of reasons. When it is appropriate, women should be able to have their babies with them, which currently represents an image of unprofessionalism and is what I think is unfair. Why should women pretend that somehow the human race will carry on without them and it isn’t very important, or appropriate and needs to be out of sight, and off stage somewhere else? Motherhood needs to be embraced and accommodated and fully integrated within all society and that includes the work place at times. Only then will women be fully accepted for all they are. I think it is quite a long way off.
Well said, Sara! My thoughts exactly. I will be bringing my infant with me to a trade show, and simply do not anticipate it being a problem; it is a part of my job, as is my “professional” work, and I will not neglect that because it may seem unprofessional. If I lose business over it, well so be it.
I’m conflicted about this because I can be pretty jealous – if I can’t nurse my baby at my job, why should anyone, right? But if one of the reasons to pursue a creative career is to provide flexibility as a mom, it would be nice for trade shows to give that option to women. I’m pretty sure that being a successful businesswoman doesn’t have to look the same as being a successful businessman, but society doesn’t have a lot of pictures of the breadth of choices women (and men) can make in life and business with their families in mind. I choose not to travel for work much while I’m pumping/nursing, but I am lucky to have that option, and don’t work in an industry focused around trade shows on specific dates that I must attend in person. The best scenario I observed in corporate travel was a woman who was traveling for work with her baby – her company was paying for a nanny to watch the baby on the other end.
I personally feel that the carrier policy is spot on. Allowing strollers would be craziness, TNNA can get really crowded and a stroller would barely fit in the smaller booths.
Of course it would be nice if we all had spouses that could come along or babysit, as one interviewee suggests, but that’s not practical for everyone. Plus, the expense of going to a show is already so much… try getting a 3 day sitter for a 3 month old!
I don’t feel that the show needs to provide a nursing area. Every show I’ve been to has a comfortable sitting area. If I’m comfortable nursing at the mall, why shouldn’t I be able to just nurse on a bench at a show? You can cover up to your own level of modesty. The more people see it, the more accepted it will be!
It’s not really that simple for everyone! I am all about nursing in public and would’ve happily done it… if my kid had been on board. He was simply too distracted and busy after about 6 weeks old, and regularly refused bottles until he was older. Even if a convention center was going to ban babies, they then need to provide a space to pump that isn’t a bathroom. Our new grocery stores have Mother’s rooms, I don’t see why every convention center wouldn’t as well. When I ran a large event in a convention center, we secured a private space with a comfy chair and a locking door for any nursing/pumping Mothers and I guess I just assumed that professional events would do the same.
Just a quick idea for a possible solution for a private nursing room/space if there isn’t one available at the convention center. I’ve attended several homeschooling conferences at large convention centers. There are always tons of nursing moms there with their babies. My favorite setup was just a four-sided frame with curtains on all sides and it was filled with armchairs. It was made with the same pipes and curtains provided to the vendors as backdrops and walls. They positioned it near the main speaking area so that the nursing moms could be “present” but out of sight if they needed more privacy.
Of course every baby is different, but I’m just not sure it’s the show’s responsibility to provide a space for a small amount of very particular babies. Keep in mind that organizations are renting an existing convention center… it’s not their choice to build one without nursing areas attached to bathrooms like your new grocery store!
If you have a baby who won’t nurse in public, won’t nurse under a cover, and you’re unwilling to leave the floor to find somewhere quiet and you’re also unwilling to go back to your hotel room… then maybe it’s a good year to skip the convention. Besides, the show is the least of your worries. To get to any show, I have to fly… and most airports don’t have dedicated nursing areas. And no airplanes do! So, to even get to a conference, you either need a baby that can go 6 hours without eating or can nurse in public. And if you’re able to pump and bottle feed for the airplane ride, then I don’t see why you couldn’t do the same at a show. The doors are only open 6-8 hours a day.
When I’m at a conference, I leave the floor at least 4 times a day… to meet with friends, to relax and take a breather, to eat… I think it’s okay to nurse at one of these breaks if the show floor can’t work for you.
Shows have lots of competing interests when they’re setting up a space. They’re incredibly expensive to put on. Even putting up a small partitioned area can cost hundreds or thousands of dollars. (yes! Everything at a convention center is ridiculous! Ask any vendor who’s paid $35 a day to have their trash can emptied or a similar amount for wireless internet). Who should absorb the cost for a nursing room? Is that something you’d be willing to pay for? Even when almost everyone who attends a show stays in a hotel room attached to the convention center that takes less than 5 minutes to get to?
I was VERY lucky that my husband was willing to come to Kansas City that time. Of course, when I started writing my book I had no idea that I would have a 2 month old when it was published. Some things you have no control over. So my husband volunteered to come so that I could go and promote my book. I knew of Quilts Inc. Policy at the time regarding all children, which is why he came with me. But we were treated deplorably. He was, quite literally, tackled as he went up an escalator to meet me so I could nurse.
What we discovered then and still see now, is the legality of this issue. In the US the laws regarding nursing in public vary state by state. In Kansas and Texas the law basically states that if a nursing mother has a right to be in the spot, then the nursing baby can be there too. So they were essentially breaking the law by keeping me from the show floor when I needed to nurse.
I completely understand the rule of it only being babes in arms at the show. I also understand the frustration Lisa mentions. I think there are few moms that are dying to go to a trade show with a baby in tow. It’s hard work on an already exhausting experience. But if we choose to both work and nurse and this is what must happen, then so be it. And next time, when I wasn’t nursing I was okay to leave my kids behind to go to work. (Well, a little bit sad, I’m not heartless.)
Your story broke my heart and infuriated me! As an industry that is trying to focus on getting “fresh, young blood” into quilting, young mothers ARE the target market., and treatment like this at the major trade show for our industry is deplorable.
I know how hard carriers are for extended periods of time, nevermind trying to lug around the baby bag too! But I do think that strollers are fair enough to ban as they are usually bulky. But ‘umbrella strollers’ are quite light and compact, so if small suitcases and the like are allowed, should these smaller, compact strollers also be allowed? Or should all wheeled objects be banned? Fine line there.
As for providing a space for feeding mothers, a restroom is not at all appropriate! Small, cramped, smelly, not at all pleasant or comfortable. I would love to make all the people who suggest this as a solution to sit on the toilet (presumably with the lid down, if the toilets even have those as not all public toilets do!) for up to half an hour with their chests exposed and while holding a 4-10kg, wriggling sack of flour. Not so comfortable, hey?!
Cheryl– you brought up exactly my question– how on earth can they get around the laws protecting breastfeeding mothers? I’m also curious how they really hope to be inclusive of younger quilters who are still having babies without changing their policies. I hope we see the industry become more open to the reality that many working women have TWO jobs and neither should have to be “put on hold” for the other– especially within the quilty world.
I am going to a trade show this week here in Norway, and the guidelines for visitors says that you have to be 15 or older – with the exception of children under 3 in a stroller. (I don’t think a carrier/sling would make anyone protest, either). If strollers make the aisles and booths too crowded, what about wheel chairs?
Btw, it is common here to take a year off when you have a baby (the parents split the year between them, and it is a paid leave), so maybe it is not so much of a problem as in the states?
Two decades ago I carried my baby in a sling and nursed everywhere and anywhere. It was a controversial topic twenty years ago, (despite most mothers, myself included, being very discreet) and many of my peers, (along with myself) joined in the fight to have laws changed to insure that public nursing was accepted. I am blown away that young mothers today are still having to fight for the right to feed their babies and toddlers outside of the home. I had no idea that this discrimination was still going on. It especially saddens me that an industry which is primarily female driven and female supported has been so insensitive and unsupportive. Shame on them.
Are mothers allowed to give their babies a bottle at these trade shows? If so, they should also be allowed to nurse, as both are feeding your baby.
If it’s truly distracting to customers for a vendor to have a baby with them, isn’t the vendor the one who is losing out? Why would TNNA/whatever organization care? I’ll admit, it can be a pain to navigate the strollers at Rhinebeck or Maryland Sheep and Wool, but babies are humans and they are going to be in the world, whether it be in a stroller or a carrier or their mother’s arms. This reminds of people who think babies should never be taken on a plane because they might cry. I mean, I’d prefer to not have loud stinky drunk people on my plane trips, but that doesn’t mean we should ban them from flights. Sometimes you just have to take a breath and relax about being in the world with other (tiny) humans.
(Also-I nursed my son in an open seating area when I was an attendee at Stitches South, and all I got was a thumbs up from a couple of nice ladies who walked by. ha!)
Wow. I’m so grateful for this article. I find it infuriating. In industries that are primarily female, why aren’t we shooting for the BEST conditions for working Moms/Dads and kids?? How about childcare during trade shows? (Gasp.) How about setting a standard for others to follow when it comes to nursing and childcare needs? If strollers are not allowed, wheelchair accessibility must be very poor as well. So I’m curious about the corporations behind these shows. Are there women at the top of the pyramid, or just at the lower levels? Thanks for bringing this to light. Again.
To answer your questions: There is a woman at the top of Quilts, Inc. but I can’t comment on the other organizations. And wheelchairs, scooter, and rolling suitcases are all found easily at the shows. The aisles are quite wide actually. The set up stays the same for Festival and all are allowed then.
This is a thought provoking article. I agree with Lisa Ver Burg that children don’t belong at business meetings of any kind – nursing babies or not.
However, if they are going to allow children they should should do it in a way that is fully accommodating and least distracting. Strollers should be allowed and private lounge areas should be available to care for children away from the show floor.
First, I’m very pro breast feeding and fed both my babies until they were 6 and 9 months. But i must admit I’m not sure a trade show is a place for a nursing infant. If you’re still nursing, shouldn’t you be on maternity leave? I worked in an office from when my babies were 6 months old, I couldn’t nurse them at work. I nursed the second one morning, afternoon and evening. I can’t see how you can concentrate on business with a baby strapped to you.
Many women who are working in creative industries such as quilting and CHA are not working full time for a company. This means there is no maternity leave. Also, if you are still nursing at 6 to 9 months and you do happen to work for a company that provides maternity leave, you leave is most likely up at 6 weeks. Some are very generous to 12 weeks but that’s only 3 months. These longer leaves tend to fall under the Family Care Act and the pay is not the same as your normal full time job when you take time off under this act. You are very lucky that you worked at an office where you lived close enough to home to be able to nurse your child in the afternoon and then before and after work. Please know I’m not trying to be disagreeable, I’m just pointing out that the situation you mentioned above is the exception and not the norm in American workplaces today.
I also had no idea that these shows were so strict about rules relating to babies and children. I expected that they would be very supportive of nursing mothers, though I can understand the concerns expressed in the comments. The issue I have with set ‘rules’ is that it does not take into account the different experiences of nursing mothers. As Stacey mentions, rudeness is not something that is restricted to nursing mothers. While I do not have any children yet I have a lot of babies and children in my life. Some have high needs and need lots of attention while others are very chilled out. If I were in that situation and I had a baby that was usually pretty relaxed, I would likely take my baby as well as a friend, spouse or babysitter to be in charge of the child’s other needs while I was conducting my business, as Cheryl Arkison did. Ultimately, if a vendor chooses to take their baby and lets that upset her potential clients, she is the only one who is hurt by the experience. To me, the advantage of being a mother with a business is that you get more control over your own choices. However, any choice you make in relation to your business will affect your business and ultimately the ability it gives you to have more control over your life and mothering.
It’s funny, I’m getting my phd (friday actually) studying cancer, so it’s pretty heavy handed with the whole ‘women in science’ thing, but at the same time, when I asked for a place to pump for a few days, maybe a week at most while I had my security card access added for the “lactation room”, the pathology staff offered to give me a SUPPLY CLOSET. But I was more than welcome to “prop my feet up on the boxes. ”
It really made me mad because I know I’m not the first person to ever ask for a place to pump, and it wasn’t like I had planned ahead (I tried but no one gave me access), but really, a supply closet?! How is that even remotely ok.
It’s easy to think this place is a professional workplace so it’s not ok to bring a baby/breastfeed, but the real world is so much more gray than that. Especially in a setting like those described above, where many of the attendees never work in a “traditional setting” and so they don’t view it the same way. Then you take my situation, which is VERY traditional, a large university/hospital/insurance provider rolled into one, and they offered me a supply closet.
This whole thread has made me so sad. Why are women who choose to be with their babies and breastfeed (which everyone agrees is the best option for baby and mom) still having such a hard time reintegrating into working?
Imagine if you were a fabric pattern designer. You’re pregnant and working hard on your latest designs. You get them done and off to the manufacturer and then, wow, you have your baby. But you need to promote your hard work at Quilt Market! What to do? Leave baby in the hotel room? With who? Not everone has a spouse who can take three days off. Bring baby to the show? Maybe, maybe not depending on so many factors (fussy baby? distrated baby who won’t nurse easily in public? challenging breastfeeding relationship where pumping is a need not a want?).
Why do we as a society have to make it so hard for women? And then we have some of the negative, unsupportive comments I see here and there above. There is nothing to be gained by criticizing others. We are all doing our best and we should all lift each other up.
Not to mention that … women are the majority of fabric buyers, fabric users, pattern designers and fabric designers (look at the listing of Moda fabric designers–women!). If we can offer support and help instead of criticism and a cold shoulder, we can make the design and craft world better for everyone.
I have mixed feelings about this. I’ll preface my comment by saying I’m not a mother (but would like to be someday) and have almost no experience with children, so I’m completely ignorant to the demands of motherhood.
One one hand, Quilt Market is a trade show meant to facilitate businesses. You don’t see doctors, lawyers, school teachers, or plenty other professionals bringing their kids to work related events. It’s probably hard to focus on doing business if you’re trying to keep an infant happy. I think it’s unrealistic to expect a nursing baby to be cooperative in such a hectic environment for so long. It’s unfair to everyone., including the mother and child.
On the other hand, mothers are a huge segment of quilters and shutting them out seems unwise. Plus, I’ll bet there are plenty of people who enjoy seeing the children. My grandmother used to stop every mother & infant she passed to fawn over the little ones!
I think Quilts Inc.’s policy regarding no strollers is a thinly veiled attempt to discourage children all together. Moms who were on the fence about bring children might change their mind if they have to keep their baby strapped to them all day long. I saw plenty of people will large rolling bags at Market, so I think it’s unfair to prohibit strollers provided they aren’t the size of a tank.
I think things will have to become more inclusive going forward if the industry wants to continue growing. The mothers will have to take the good with the bad though. If people think you’re unprofessional for having your child with you, that’s the consequence. Mothers should be entitled to bring their nursing infants and be reasonably accommodated and business people should be entitled to their decision to not do business with them.
First, I am well past the age of having children of my own, but I do have grandchildren. My daughter has three children that were breast fed until age one, at which time they weaned themselves. During that time she took the children everywhere and nursed the children when ever necessary. If there was somewhere so they could have some alone time, she would take advantage of the area; however, if there was not a place, she would fed the baby and and no one would know. A blanket is great at concealing things. For five years she was a Breast Feeding Peer Councilor for the health department in the county in which she lived. Because of her job, she became familiar the rights of breast feeding mothers. One of the things that she learned was that anywhere a mother is allowed to go, a baby is also allowed to go up to a certain age. I’m not sure of the age, maybe a year or longer if being breast fed. There are few exceptions, one being a courtroom. Check with your state or county health department about your “rights” as a breast feeding mom. Sometime I really dislike the word “right”, but sometimes it’s necessary. There are many advocacy groups for breast feeding, research some of them. One thing she would do was pump so that she had bottles in emergencys or in special circumstances. I could go on and on because there are restrictions for other places that have made me decide that I can do without them. How are younger generations to learn, appreciate and keep history alive if they are not allowed to attend and learn to conduct themselves? (Don’t get me started. LOL)
Having worked in law enforcement, I think a huge reason to not have a child in a stroller is SAFETY. I’ve been to shows where the little ones are screaming & crying and the parent’s attention is not on the child but what is in the booths. I’ve always thought “What a perfect scenario to snatch a child! What’s another crying child? Who would know it wasn’t yours?” But I feel the issues of having your baby in a carrier is different, however, I would guess it can be stressful and heavy for the mother. I tend to think more about the babies being exposed to potential illnesses being at such public places. (Yes, I went from a law enforcement career to health care).
I agree with another comment about people being on cell phones and rudely ignoring a potential customer. Which is worse? Caring for the infant or being on the phone? We are quick to judge that person on the phone, but maybe they are dealing with something which is truly urgent!
We all need to practice grace and patience! Thank you.
Everybody above has touched on much of what I’d like to say, so I’ll pick something a wee bit different regarding the strollers. Yes, being a pack mule is something no one tells you about motherhood. Especially if you’re not nursing and needing to carry bottles, etc. But how often can you imagine baby in a stroller being parked while mom looks at something? Possibly with her back to the stroller? That seems like a safety issue there to me. At such a crowded venue full of people from all over the world, my baby would be strapped on my chest or in my arms. Just like we wouldn’t put our purses on the floor a foot away from us while looking at something. Yes, access to market is regulated and quilters are wonderful people, but every group has it’s bad apples or we wouldn’t hear of quilts being stolen. And umbrella strollers could easily be tripped over, tipping out the precious cargo.
Yes, it would be tiring and stressful. That’s why I can’t imagine keeping my baby with me the entire show time. If I couldn’t find help to watch baby while I conduct business, I’d have to re-think going. My babies liked being worn and would sleep most of that time, but still, I would need to be at my best to properly promote myself and product and if baby is not cooperating, that won’t happen.
Quilt Market is expensive! If you can’t afford to bring a helper with you or arrange something, you might not be able to risk losing sales to a fussy baby either. I’m going to be working in a booth at the Lancaster show this year, and I’m trying to decide if I want to have a relative who lives near the show watch my 5yo so I don’t have to arrange childcare for him back home. (No he’s not nursing, in case you wondered. Goodness!) But the thought of hearing that he’s not happy with his slightly known relative while I’m working might distract me or even call me away from the show.
We did attend a Lego show event for children and they had an area like a show booth curtain set-up for nursing mothers and a separate changing area. Lego knows their best customers are likely to have babies, even though the toy is not for babies. Not a totally fair comparison, but thought I’d throw it out there.
It’s a tricky thing. If I was still nursing I’d be irate to be told to nurse in a bathroom but there are usually quiet nooks and empty classrooms in most convention halls. Nursing discretely is possible anywhere. If baby is too particular (and some are) or mom is too uncomfortable, then a choice has to be made or a plan developed. Allowing small babies opens the can of worms for there to be bigger babies which could be problematic.
And Market is a business event, even if it may feel like a party at times.
Quilt Market is led by a woman, but let’s not forget that she’s of the generation of ladies (broad generalization here, forgive me) similar to those of one of my local guilds, who aren’t comfortable with nursing or at least nursing in public. Change takes time and I’m glad to see changes happening.
I’m one of those (insane?!) moms that believed in child-led weaning, so my kids nursed for 3 years and I missed Quilt Market for 3 years when I had my second. Not that I would have brought a toddler (good gawd.) I would have brought an infant though, so I was really glad to hear that the rules changed so at least other moms wouldn’t have make that choice. I do think the issue is attachment more than nursing though, so I would support bottle feeding moms and dads on the floor too. Tiny babies need to be with their primary care-giver IMO . The shows need to adapt to the changing demographics and values of their attendees.
Wow, breastfeeding always gets us girls so whipped up doesn’t it?! I’m an ex midwife and in Australia it is law that there should be rooms provided for breastfeeding, conventions, shopping centres – everywhere. We have one of the highest breastfeeding rates in the world and this only happens when it is seen as completely normal. No need to stigmatise it with exclusion.
My hugest gripe, like some other commenters is the ubiquitous smartphone scanning when I require assistance. I reckon thats more common than working Mums tending their babes in arms.
Annabelle Crabb is an Aussie political reporter, she wrote a fantastic book called The Wife Drought. I highly recommend its enlightening thesis about how hard it is for women to succeed like men do. She interviewed federal politicians who worked in parliament house with newborns by their side. Get your government on board and make them normalise breastfeeding everywhere by legislating for women.
Really interesting debate Abby, I’m a long time lurker!
I brought my 6-month-old baby to Quilt Market in Pittsburg. My mom and I hope to have a booth, so when market was within driving distance, I packed up my 3 kids, drove there, met my parents who watched the other two (my husband had work obligations that couldn’t be changed) and I took the baby with me. It was the best and worst experience all at once. I did end up nursing standing up in the family restroom, as I couldn’t find anywhere else and the food court was too crowded. The first security guard told me there was a room for nursing, but whenever I asked about it, either no one knew where it was or it was locked…
However, having my baby with me was a wonderful and enlightening experience. I made connections I otherwise might not have because so many others stopped me to talk about my baby (as an introvert, this was huge, as it is very difficult just to strike up a conversation with people). And, it seemed only natural that I’d have my baby with me as I also do everything else with my children at hand.
All that said, I hope the next Quilt Market I attend I’ll be baby free for a couple days, because it is a distraction and there are a lot of logistics that go with it. But, I think allowing mothers to bring their babies is a great step forward for our industry, and I hope they continue to move forward.
I just have to say I find it appalling that the RESTROOM was suggested as a place for a mother to nurse. If shows must have a no stroller policy or baby-must-be-in-carrier-at-all-times policy for safety or professional atmosphere, fine, but they need a designated nursing area that is cleaner and more comfortable than a bathroom!
Agreed. Nobody should be asked to eat in a bathroom.
especially a PUBLIC restroom, gross!!!! at least there’s a federal law that protects women and their babies