This town completely depresses me. No offense to my friends here. I know you all love living here. It just isn’t for me. I’ve been here for nearly 9 years and I’ve honestly never enjoyed it. It never has (and never will) feel like home.

I live in a nice neighborhood with no crime. Mostly older couples who’s grandchildren come to visit or young couples who are starting their families. Yet I still don’t feel safe answering my door when the Hubs isn’t home or taking the Kiddo out to play alone. Why is this?

I moved here in August of 2001 and the first interactions I had with people in this town were in our church. Now there were some terrific people there but for the most part, it wasn’t a good experience at all. No one knew me or knew where I had come from and they didn’t bother to ask. They knew I was the girlfriend of their new Youth & Children’s Pastor and apparently they weren’t crazy about that idea.  My hair was too short and messy, my ears had too many studs in them, my jeans were too long and I was definitely too young.

They didn’t know my Hubs (boyfriend at the time) either. Their minister had been great friends with my Father-in-Law for many years and had previously been the minister of their church as well. The secretary was the wife of another minister who had been at the church my Hubs grew up at too. Besides the two of them, no one else knew much about him. So why did they seem to think I wasn’t good enough for him or something?

I don’t know and I really don’t care. But I do think that this experience had a lasting effect on me, on the way I’ve felt for the last 8+ years. If you don’t feel safe or loved in your church, where can you?

Be careful about how you treat visitors or new members at your church. They are your family and you may be the only family they have. Some of these people may be taking a huge step to be in a church at all and it may also be their last resort in trying to figure their lives out.